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Main –› Self Healing –› Goal Setting Advice
 

Is it Goal Planning or Goal Tending?

 
Author: Heather Lynn Jergens
 

At any given moment, you may find yourself caught off guard leading to losing the game, missing the playoffs, or never seeing the opportunity staring you right in the face. This was my life growing up. Always being prepared for action and in a constant state of ready to block, catch, deflect, run, punt or defend my teams lifeline, the goal. In short, I was a goalie in soccer.

Recently I was watching a soccer game on TV and my instincts instantly transported me back 20 years to when I was a goalie, a goaltender. Goal Tending is very active; you are on the field playing, accessing, looking, anticipating and predicting what will happen. Some times, you never touch the ball; yet other times, you just cant seem to get rid of it. The job of the goalie is to see the entire field because you have the best vantage point to guide and move the team toward success.

Every month, I would do my goal planning; to figure out what I wanted accomplished such as the stats I wanted to hit or things I wanted to do. So, this week, month, or year, challenge yourself to take a different vantage point when working with your goals. Yes, taking time to plan them is still critical to the success, but it goes even one-step further by getting in the game and playing an active role of goal tending all four quarters! How many of us at the close of each week, month and/or year, evaluate how we did, either on paper or in our heads?

Questions we often ask ourselves could be did we hit our goals? Are we where we want to be? Are we disappointed because we realize we are still talking, dreaming, and planning the same things, but have not moved any closer towards them? Are you caught up in blaming others for lack of forward movement or is it just easier to bury your head in the sand and pretend it doesnt matter anyway?

Here is a quick exercise for taking an active approach with your goals and completing the challenge for a year, a quarter, a month or a week. I think of it as goal tending instead of goal planning and here is why, goal planning is a very passive act and goal tending is a very active act. You are always on your toes ready for action, keeping your eyes open and on the lookout for the unexpected. Adding this to your planning stage will let you see just how far you have come and where you going; so grab a pen and paper and let us get started!

? Look back at your past week, quarter, or year; take a moment to recall five victories?
? What are four things you are most grateful for this year?
? What three things did you want to accomplish in this timeframe, but could not or did not?
? What two things would you have done differently knowing what you know now?
? What is one thing you did to make a difference in another persons life, (even if it was not evident to him or her)?

Did you notice how you could quickly assess if you are going where you want to be going, or if you need to redirect something quickly before you are caught off guard? It allows a different vantage point to come into play. If you are actively involved in your goals and your dreams, you will be able to change directions or even destinations all together if you choose. Why?

Simply because you knew where you were going and the direction you were heading .. you were able to see things before they were missed and before you needed a wake up call.

How many years on January 1st , or the next quarter, week or day, have you said to yourself, I want to lose weight, begin working out, make more money, do something different, or spend more time with my family; but in a few months, days and sometimes even hours, it seems that those goals or promises were just good ideas and no longer hold the same grand commitment as when we started? Why is the first commitment we seem to break is always the one to ourselves, when ideally it should be the first one we honor? What is this doing to our own self-confidence?

What is missing? The missing piece is we do not always see that the relationship with our self, our own thoughts and communication holds any power to create the world in which we live and without this awareness, we become our biggest enemy. This alone keeps us from trying new things and going for the elixir of life. As soon as we start something new, the small voice inside us starts chattering away with comments like, you will never stick with this, why are you bothering, your just going to give up, or why are you trying this again, you know you are going to quit. This internal conversation is set in motion each time we start breaking our promises to ourselves.

So, as this week, month, quarter or year comes to a close, think of something you wanted to do for yourself, but suddenly found yourself too busy, tired, financial strapped, or overwhelmed to follow through with and finish. This could be something as simple as having a friend say they are going to do something you counted on, but they didnt and now you are feeling disappointed, frustrated and will tend to NOT trust this person in the future. Is this same friend someone you will call when you really need something? Probably not! Yet most of us have this kind of relationship with our most valuable resource, our self. Without knowing what we are doing, our beliefs that we are never sure we can stick to what we need to do when put to the test starts to take root. For the next few weeks, give yourself a priceless gift, one no one else can give you. A relationship with yourself, where you honor yourself in the words you say, the actions you take and the thoughts you think.

 
 
 

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