I may not be Miss Manners, but I do know a thing or two about how to relate with people. Call it life experience or something, but I call it common sense. I also call it politeness and "didn't your momma teach you anything?"

Personally, I am there for you if you have a serious issue. There are also many forums and different kinds of support groups. I know, I have gone into several and broken down about some issues - however, I don't whine in front of millions of people. There are times and places for different things, and it doesn't take much to know where and when to keep your mouth shut.

For those of you who just don't understand this concept, never learned it, and/or rebel from the laws of society, I have compiled this short list of common clues you can use to tell when you should close your mouth or change the subject.

Clue #1: Other people try to change the subject.

Appropriate response: Go with the new subject. Don't beat your dead horse.

Clue #2: People start making jokes.

Appropriate response: People are uncomfortable and using humor to change the subject. Go with it. Consider your horse dead.

Clue #3: People ignore you.

Appropriate response: People are tired of your stinky horse. Bury it and don't bring it up again.

Clue #4: Someone calls you out on something.

Appropriate response: Apologize and let it drop. It is not worth arguing over, and nothing is hurt except for your pride. Leave the horse buried and don't bring it up again in a sense of self-defense. People will think more of you for sucking it up and being an adult than if you try to defend your case.

Clue #5: Someone has an alternative view on something.

Appropriate response: Agree to disagree and let it drop. Don't argue about it where everyone can see you. You look immature and you will not get anyone to accept your horse - they have their own, trust me on this.

Also, here are some conversational tips that may help you make some friends and get everyone to be happy you are joining in the conversation:

Tip #1: Don't whine.

Tip #2: Don't pout, sulk, and/or be a child about something.

Tip #3: Care about what others have to talk about. You are not the only one on this planet.

Tip #4: Realize everyone has problems. They don't need to hear about yours.

Tip #5: Don't argue and be unfriendly. If you feel that way, just keep your mouth shut.

Tip #6: Relax and have a humorous attitude. People like that. Really.

Tip #7: Laugh at yourself. Why? It makes others relax around you.

Tip #8: Know when to stop. This may take practice, but it's a skill that will help you forever.

Tip #9: Don't be belligerent or argumentative. All people want is to have a good time; they don't need you to be a jerk.

Tip #10: Have a good time. Consider the conversation your break from life - be easy to get along with and go with the flow.

Tip #11: If someone offends you, keep it to yourself or handle it privately. Arguments just make people tense up and kill conversation.

Tip #12: Be comfortable around everyone. Hey, they are just people too with lives and jobs and problems. Chill out.

Tip #13: Be positive and cheerful. You will lift up those around you, and they will be willing to lift you up when you need it.

Tip #14: Be flexible. If you had something to say, but conversation has changed - get over it. It always comes up again, and if you need your say, put it in a journal or forum or tell a close friend in private.

Tip #15: Respect everyone. Everyone has different views, and you may not agree with them. Respect their right to not agree with you.

Everything above is meant to help you be a more enjoyable person, and to help me not pull out my hair. Please learn them, reference them, and obey them. I promise you, life is much better this way - at least when around other people. What you do on your own time in your own head and your own home is none of my business, but when you say it out loud, you have to follow these rules or pay the consequences. What are the consequences? People will start ignoring you and your work, and you may possibly get banned from those public areas.

Just like you have to wear clothes in public, you have to follow certain rules in society to be a well developed communicator. Do yourself a favor.